Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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