I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How drunk are you?
Completed.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
