Swine flu. Run for my life!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
