You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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