So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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