Where is the hickey?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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