That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
as a side note pls kill me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
