I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
