I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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