i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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