I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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