i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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