none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
