im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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