Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
