That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
