true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
