i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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