Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
