some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize