You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
