I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize