member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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