Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
