Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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