i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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