I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize