I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
