She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
