ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
