so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And then he peed in my hair
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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