how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
