I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
