I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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