i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
