who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
