So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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