Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
