the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
