And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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