TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
