I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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