Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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