No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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