I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
