called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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