My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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