yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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