I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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