Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize