3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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