Already got asked if we're dating
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
