are you still at the devil's house?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
