marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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