but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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